I have long curly hair that my younger sister inaccurately calls a “Jewfro.” When I walk on the typical street on an even more typical day, I see that most males have straight hair that is quite short. I pointed this out to my roommate, and he who just happens to have short and straight hair explains that the reason for the paucity of long-haired fellows is that “your long, curly, unkempt hair is ugly.” I have not again asked his opinion regarding hair. When I went to the AWP (Associate Writing Program) Conference, I discovered to my complete and utter joy that curly hair was the majority. There were people with curly hair tied with hair ties, curly hair that ran past their shoulders, curly hair that continued to rise above their heads like one of those Arabian hats, curly hair that scissored left then right, curly hair like cotton candy, curly hair like a teddy bear, and curly hair everywhere. While you might not understand the joy I had at seeing such curly haired goodness, you just need to imagine a boy who has been told day after day after day that “you need a haircut. If you had a bigger nose, then-oh nevermind-you are Jewish.” I loved the conference for the proliferation of talented writers, but I also loved it for the curly hair. They made curling irons for a reason, and this conference was a perfect advertisement for that fact.
In the great literary tradition set forth in this post, contributor Daniel Myers gives us the first installment of this, the Top ten Hottest Literary Babes. &mdashEditor
10. Marry Poppins
To break this list, being really, really ridiculously good-looking is not enough. Mary Poppins is not just a physically gorgeous specimen (just look at Julie Andrews!), she dances, prances, and sings like a goddess. She is also fun, energetic, and dances with penguins. I’d give her a spoonful of sugar any day to make my medicine go down.
9. Hermione Granger
Through the first tree books, the only subject Hermione never dominated was in the looks department. Right when it seemed as though she would get a mere B on the attractive scale, she drank from the goblet of hotness. Ron is one lucky wizard.
8. Catherine from Wuthering Heights
She had to choose between Heathcliffe and Edgar even though I’m sure tons of guys were vying for her. While she only lives for half the book, her hotness as illustrated by her offspring shapes the second half. Heathcliffe is tormented by her death, and quite frankly, who wouldn’t be?
7. Jane from Pride and Prejudice
If I were a mother and had to pick a favorite, I too would choose the more attractive one. While her only solid characteristic is her good looks, that’s one glorious characteristic. She would be the Kim Kardashian (without the whorish qualities) of our generation, dating someone from the NFL and then the NBA and so on.
6. Ophelia from Hamlet
You know you’re hot when a prince wants you. Even with Hamlet’s realization that his uncle killed his father and married his mother, he still finds the energy to flirt with her during the play. This is not an indicator of Hamlet’s out of whack head frame, but a testament to Ophelia’s hotness. The reason Hamlet tells her to “get thee to a nunnery” is because he wants to visit it.
The top 5 will come out next week!!!